Tats Over Tots – Ink Is A Treasure Forever

  Yesterday, I wrote about why I gladly volunteered to have sharp things pierce my scrotum and stop off any chance of producing a psychotic rug monkey. Today, let us talk about why most humans should take similar measures, or at least reexamine their motives for spawning more little monsters.
  I know, humans have many well-rehearsed rationalizations for reproduction. I’ve taken great pains to shoot down several of the most common short-sighted notions. That’s how much I care.
Let’s start with the strangely possessive.

  “I want something that no one can take away.”

  Then get a tattoo, (and try to avoid Leatherface, Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb, and all other Ed Gein copycats with a penchant for skinning. If they get your hide, they get your tattoo.)
  Kids are taken away all the time by custody battles, Child Protective Services, kidnappers, tragic accidents, and so on. Some even take themselves away, running off as kids, or simply growing up and moving away. If permanence is your passion, definitely go with the ink.

True, I don’t have a tattoo myself, but I’m not the one I’m trying to convince. And again, taking sharp things in the nuts is at least as bad-ass as any other body modification. (As one great friend says, “That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.”)

  I may share one of these horrifying insights every day this week, or until people start getting serious about birth control, whichever comes first.
  Tune in again, same bratless time, same bratless channel!

Master Nick Roberts © 2012

Pictured above: One detailed glimpse of
Tending the Garden II

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