Nudity? What nudity?

I’ve been spending less and less time on Facebook, in part because I’m focusing my time and energy on writing my second book, and also because Facebook is now utterly pointless. Here’s one more step on Facebook’s march ever deeper into irrelevancy.
I still log on to FB from time to time, mostly wrapping up the last of my business there and moving it all to http://www.masternick.com
Master_Nick-RecaptureToday, FB tells me that, “Someone reported your post for containing nudity.”

I hope to include a number of drawings and paintings as illustrations in my next book, and I have a great many finished and posted already. I’ve been hit repeatedly for the unflinching nature of my work. Upon receiving word of this report, my first guess was that the self-appointed morality police had once again made an arbitrary distinction between art and pornography, and decided that one of my paintings fell on the disreputable side of the line.
Still, I’d barely been on Facebook of late, so I could not guess which post had raised some stunted person’s ire. Seeking clarity, I looked back at the post in question.
It read, “Happy Birthday!”
That was my entire post. I’d simply wished that an old friend would have a happy birthday. I’d posted no picture.

The birthday boy posted a thank you, along with a picture of Sarah Silverman, clad in a bikini, playing with her dog — not having sex with a dog, as the morality police-person must have imagined in their infinitely filthy mind, but playing. Was Silverman playing suggestively? Who knows? She’s a comedian and an actress, so it’s a fairly safe bet that whatever the case, it’s not meant to be taken seriously, and that no innocent canines were actually molested.

The picture in question was so small and low res that I wasn’t actually certain that it was a shot of Silverman at all, or that she was wearing a bikini instead of underwear, (which still would have shielded our delicate eyes from what we’re told are the “naughty bits.”) Just to be sure, I did an image search for “Sarah Silverman” and “dog” and found a number of paparazzi shots of her walking her dog.
(Incidentally, it’s long past time for all the paparazzi to stop stalking people for a living and instead find honest work.)
sarah-silverman-not-nakedAt the bottom of the search results were a couple higher res shots from the shoot, clearly showing that this is indeed Silverman, and she is indeed wearing both the top and bottom of her bikini, which would obviously get in the way of any inappropriate play.
Bottom line, Facebook got it wrong on at least two counts. It wasn’t my post, and there was no nudity.
Still, Facebook went on to say, “We’ll review your post in the next few days. If we determine that it doesn’t follow our standards, it will be removed. What you can do: Change Post Privacy · Delete this Post · Ignore this Report.”
A few options which Facebook didn’t include were, “Dispute this report, because there is no nudity,” or, “Dispute the aim of the report, as the picture wasn’t in my post—It was in a reply to my post,” or even, “Pull your head out of your rectums and stop letting the most pointlessly priggish amongst us control the public discourse.”

Facebook has hit fantasy artists like myself, it hits burlesque dancers — though that’s another story — and it now hits the pic of a comedian.
This sort of nonsense is precisely why I left Flickr and MySpace behind, and it’s part of why I’m leaving Facebook behind.
From now on, if you’d like news on art exhibitions, burlesque performances, book releases, and other glimpses of the beautiful and bizarre, feel free visit http://www.masternick.com and subscribe to my blog.
You can also find me on Twitter, at least until they inevitably pull similar crap.
https://twitter.com/MasterNickCom

For twisted fiction, acquire a copy of “Gonzombie and Other Dark Tales” http://tinyurl.com/gonzombie

Speak your minds, fellow humans! Let no one suppress what you would express!

Pictured above: “Recapture”
Acrylic on panel by
Nick Roberts
© 2014
To acquire this piece, or to commission custom work, contact me.

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